Laurie

I couldn't blog about this right when it happened, but I came across a really awesome article this past weekend and felt it was time.

As many of you know, my Aunt Laurie passed away from ovarian cancer on August 23rd of this year. She fought a great battle for 3 years. And she is very missed. I am so incredibly thankful that I got to reconnect with her 3.5 years ago at my cousin's wedding, because I got to know better what an awesome woman she was and I hope to be half the homemaker she was.

The article that I stumbled across is about a woman triathlete who was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Participating in triathlon means you spend a lot of time listening to your body- what to feed it, how to hydrate it, stretch it, rest it. And for triathlete Jenn Sommermann, things felt a bit "wrong"...this led to her stage 3 diagnosis. It is such a miracle that they discovered the cancer at stage 3, which meant the chances of successful treatment were still realistic. Ovarian cancer is near impossible to detect early. Laurie's was discovered at stage 4.

I want to encourage you to visit Jenn's blog here. She has a pretty awesome story and is out there raising awareness for ovarian cancer and raising funds for research. Go Jenn!

And I'd love to race one of the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund races for Laurie once my back is healed. There's a goal.

Running shoes on...went for a...

WALK! Ha, bet you thought I was going to say something different didn't you? Oh well, some day I will once again type those three wonderful letters :)...but I digress...

I put my running shoes on for the first time in almost three months and walked around my neighborhood. My walking has gotten better- in the office, I am locomoting at an almost normal-Melissa pace and I barely notice that my back hurts. So now, I am trying to get better at walking longer distances. Not sure how far I went today, less than a mile, and I felt it...but it was tolerable. Baby steps!

I've decided to try REALLY hard to avoid the injections because the fact is that none of my doctors really understand what's causing the pain (I mean, the inflammation is causing the pain of course, but they can't seem to decide if the cause of the inflammation is disease related or biomechanical related)...so I am going to give it the rest of October to see where I end up. I AM improving, albeit slowly and still with some pretty yucky days, but improvement is improvement. I am still aquajogging, swimming "non-agressive" laps without kicking, and doing PT twice a week.

I was telling a friend over dinner last night that I am actually thankful that I had those 3 horrible weeks in July/August where I couldn't get out of bed. Because now, when I get frustrated that I hurt after walking across my worksite, or sitting on a couch for 2 hours, I just think "yeah, well it's not as bad as those three weeks". If I had just woken up one morning with the current uncomfortablness that I am experiencing, I think that would have been a lot harder to deal with. So I am thankful for the comparison!

Here's to walking around the neighborhood! Next up...stationary recumbent bike!?

Labor Day Weekend

Yes, obviously this is a delayed post...at least I am getting it in before September is over!

TimaSue and Mark visited me on Labor Day weekend. We had a blast. T-Bone Tom's for BBQ, I gave them a NASA tour (TimaSue was a trooper seeing it all for the second time), went to Galveston for some beach time and ice cream on the Strand, Doctor Who, movies, church, chillin', shopping...definitely a great weekend! Can't wait to see them in a few weeks for their baby shower! They were my first official vistors in my house!

Post T-Bone Tom's...stuffed with fried pickles, pulled pork, and Shiner...well not Tima, that wouldn't be good for Baby Boy Miller :)

Getting ready to head to NASA for their tour (they were very proud of their purple badges...)


Playing flight controllers (the ADCO on-console that day gave up his seat for a photo op, thanks Jon!)


Yum! Ice cream at La King's after an afternoon on the beach.


Just about to head to the airport. FUN weekend!

More finished books...

Added to the finished pile:

The Good Earth- Pearl S. Buck
Good writing, story of a farmer's life in China...had a very "solid" feel...a bit on the depressing side, because of how matter of fact/truthful it was. Glad I read it.

Born to Run- Christopher McDougall
Excellent book! Not convinced of the merits of barefoot running, but it did get me to add chia seeds to my diet and to contemplate short short distances of barefoot running in the grass...once I start running again that is :)

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society- Mary Ann Shaffer
This was a fantastically awesome book that will probably end up on my "all time favorites". It's set in post WWII London and it's about a writer who corresponds with a town on one of the Channel islands. The entire story is told through the letters they exchange. I feel like I know every single character in the book personally. Very well done.

Currently reading Wuthering Heights...nope I have never read it...it took a bit to get into it, but as one of the characters in the Potato Peel Pie book said "when Cathy's fingers touched the window, I was hooked"...exact same thing happened for me (and yes, it was the Potato Peel Pie book that made me want to read Wuthering Heights...I love when books inspire you to read other books! :) )

A Soliloquy on All Things Medical

Haven't felt like blogging in awhile, but I had a couple of doctors appointments this week, so for those of you who want the latest, read on...

I've been having a LOT of problems with my autoimmune disease the past couple of weeks and it worsened this week. So when I went in to see the back orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday, he said that we had to wait for my disease to settle down before doing anything. He told me not to be a hero though (snort- seriously I am like the biggest whiner ever!)...if my back is still hurting me in a week, just give him a call and they will schedule the epidural. And my back is still hurting. It is, however, MUCH MUCH better than it was, a fact that I am so grateful for. I can walk for about 30 minutes before I start becoming uncomfortable, as long as I walk a moderate pace (which to me feels SLOOOOW). I can stand without much shifting around for about 20 minutes...and with lots of shifting for about 40 minutes. Sitting isn't too bad either, when my SI joints are behaving (my disease can cause inflammation in the SI joints, which seems to be happening every other day or so). So all in all, I am much improved from almost two months ago! Yay!

I saw my rheumatologist today and unfortunately we are adding another medication to my daily routine. I'm already on one immunosuppressive drug and a super strong anti-inflammatory and we're now adding another immunosuppressive drug (seriously, put me in a plastic bubble!). Plus, they hooked me up to an IV and pumped me full of steriods this afternoon to help try and calm things down.

I hate being on more medications.

BUT, I am very thankful that I am not taking these medications for their originally intended use:
one med is a chemotherapy drug (I take a very very low dose) and the other is used for organ transplant receipients. See what I mean? Me <- THANKFUL!!!!

So here's to some prayer and Western medicine...do your thing!

Latest living room picture

Here you go Mom (you really need to get Facebook :) )

Things still to go on the walls...

Wait

I met with the back orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday and the good news is- it's nothing bad. No ruptured discs, no tumors, no massive degeneration. Yay! It is however, some arthritis around that spina bifida occulta (minor) and some inflammation in that area that is impinging on the nerves, hence the pain. So he wants me to wait 4 more weeks to see if it will go down on its own and continue with the PT I've been doing with my chiropractor. If after a month, there is still no significant change, I am to come back so we can talk about doing localized steroid injections into the spine to help with the inflammation. So in one word: WAIT

I've decided that I don't like the word WAIT.

I had a bit of a struggle that day with WAIT. I hurt. I am tired of hurting. I had a "hate" rant on the drive home. I listed all the things I "hate" about the situation I am in. I cried. I got home and called my mom once I had composed myself, which as you all know, doesn't work, because as soon as you hear your mom's voice, it's over :). So I go on and on for like five minutes and at the end, she says "honey, I'm sorry, I didn't understand a word of that". I totally busted up laughing. And that's what I needed. I saw my selfishness. I just received good news from a doctor and I was mad about it. So I asked myself, "what are you so mad about?"...

The long and short of it is I am mad that this is preventing me from being ME. I can't hurry to the teapot when it is whistling LOUDLY when the water is ready, or answer the doorbell in a normal amount of time, or take care of ONE errand in less than 30 minutes...let alone run and bike, and do the 50 million things I like to do at one time. I can't be ME.

BUT (of course you knew there was a BUT coming)

"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me" Galatians 2:20

That's my identity. I am not defined by how many errands I can run in an hour, by how quickly I can get from point A to point B without grimacing, by how "hyper" or "bubbly" I am feeling (yes those are two recent descriptions of me that I have heard)...I live my life for God, I belong to Him, and He loves me. That's ME. And inflammation in my spine can't remove me from that position.

Very thankful for the perspective that God revealed and for the grace for me to see it. I am also thankful that this is temporary and I admire people I know (Aunt Laurie, Lyle Gurnsey) who are fighting much more painful battles than I am...and they keep their chins up and keep on fighting. Yeah, I am uncomfortable, but really, what do I have to complain about? I belong to God.

I started doing acupuncture treatments this week, in hopes of reducing the inflammation and pain. After two sessions, I think I am walking a bit better, so that's great.

And as part of my PT, I am about to go jump in a pool and aqua jog! Pretty sure I will have the lifeguard take a picture of me in the pool, with my iPod bandana-ed to my head so I don't get bored jogging in the water (or get the iPod wet!)

Here's to progress, slow progress, but progress nonetheless!