I believe! Help my unbelief!
About a month ago, a friend of a friend reached out to me. She was going through a scary medical issue and asked the question "how do I trust God in this?" As I typed out my response, I found I was not just trying to answer her, but also answer the questions in my own heart. I was preaching to myself and suddenly realized how much I wasn't trusting God in some specific areas. Here are some imperfect steps I've found myself going through when realizing I'm not trusting. I hope they encourage you in your trust of Him.
To start with, it's sneaky - mistrust. I think I've nailed it in one area or topic in my life and then BOOM - there it is again. How come I have to keep revisiting this topic!? Mistrust, or not trusting, can disguise itself as so many things- the need for control, the need to plan and prepare, inflexibility, the desire for comfortability, etc. The need for control, for instance, will look different from season to season and that's why, at least for me, I don't always recognize it.
We must learn to recognize when we are not trusting in God. It could look like constantly worrying, not being able to stop thinking about something, a deep heaviness in your stomach or heart, increased irritability, inability to focus on God or even want to think about Him, excessive busyness. I think back to previous instances when I became aware that I was not trusting in Him - what was I doing and thinking? What were my internal thoughts at that time? For me, it's usually that I haven't been in the Word, that I haven't been praying. That it's been more about me and much less about Him.
Once I've determined that I haven't been trusting...how do I start trusting?
First: "Be still and know that I am God; I am exalted among the nations. I am exalted among the people." (Psalm 46:10)
I think it's important to read this verse in its entirety, not just the "Be still and know" part. This is because this verse is not about us, it's about Him. We are still because He is to be exalted. We want to know Him, because He deserves to be honored and glorified. We don't do it to seek answers for ourselves. We do it for HIM. Because of HIM. To Him. Just that slight adjustment to my thinking helps remind me that this is not about me, it is about Him. Sure, I'm feeling affected, I may be suffering...but as I look to Him - the Spirit works to shift my thinking to "how can this exalt Him? How can this honor Him?"
Second - Remind yourself who God is. Meditate on His attributes and character. It's a whole lot easier to trust someone you know rather than someone you don't know. And because we all can come up with what we THINK God is, go to your Bible - because that's what God uses to tell us who He is. There are some great resources out there that list the attributes of God and the location in Scripture to study more. Do some googling.
Third - Pray! It may seem simple, but we are to ask God. Ask Him to help you trust. To desire His way and not your way. This is where you cry out "I believe, help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24). You may be at the point where the situation is so bad, there is just no way out of it, no way God could change anything. He can help you in your unbelief. Ask Him. Nothing is impossible for Him (Matthew 19:26). He is working things out in a way that may be different from what you think it should be, but I guarantee you (because He does) that it is for His glory and your good. (Romans 8:28).
Fourth- Take those thoughts captive (2 Cor 10:5). Don't let your imagination run away with you. If you think something scary or something that makes you worry - stop that chain of thinking and take it to Scripture. Ask "What does God say about this?" "What does God ask me to do with this/in this situation?" A lot of times, it will be become clear that you are worrying (i.e. not trusting in Him). Confess that to Him. Remind yourself again of His character, His faithfulness and why you can trust in Him.
Fifth- Praise Him! In a hard trial or weary season, it's easy to be more aware of what's going wrong, what "needs" to change. Start listing out things you can thank God for - it may be the smallest of small things to you: "thank you for waking me up this morning, thank you for the sun shining/the rain falling, thank you for coffee," Those "small" things mean something! Thank and praise Him for the work you see Him doing...and I bet you'll start seeing more and more of the work He is doing. And guess what? You'll start trusting Him more in your situation because you see the work that He is doing and can trust Him to continue doing work in your life! It's this pretty awesome cycle my friend.
I find this process helps me- there's probably a bunch more little "steps" and tangents my heart and mind go on, but I think this captures the jist.
I don't intend these steps I share to be trite - there are some horrific situations you might find yourself in and I absolutely understand that trust will not come easily. Please know that you are seen in your situation and that you are not alone. There's no time expectation for learning to trust - His timing is perfect. My encouragement is to not despair, but to continue to press into Him, to seek Him. It is a work of obedience on our parts and mercy and grace on His to bring about increased trust in Him.
