Rollercoaster

That's what this week has been, a rollercoaster.

Now if you had asked me how my week has been on Friday, I would have said GREAT. So, apparently, it was a very unsymmetrical rollercoaster...

I got in 3 great workouts during the week:
Monday - 4 mile walk
Tuesday - 600m swim
Wednesday - 3 mile walk and 10 minutes on the elliptical
Took Thursday and Friday off 'cause I had some long work days and evening plans

I introduced short running periods of about 1 minute every 3/4 mile or so and my back was doing well. Still the ever present "hi, I am your back and I am not normal", but nothing awful.

Then yesterday, I went on a walk...I wanted to go 5 miles. I started out at a slower than normal pace, due to the distance and wanting to up the amount of time I was trying running (from 1 minute to 2 minute). About a half a mile in, I knew it was going to be a rough workout...my hip joints were stiff, oh hello Disease...back was okay though. I ended up doing 4.3 miles and was a bit gimp on the part home (and walking SLOWLY). The back really wasn't bad, it actually felt pretty good on the runs. It was just my whole body. Why can't my body listen to what my mind and heart want it to do? Dumb body needs to grow some ears...oh wait...

You see, I had this somewhat secret goal of walking the Galveston Mardi Gras Half Marathon on February 20th...which just happens to be my 30th birthday. And I came to the realization yesterday that it is just not going to happen at this time. I can't make it through 5 miles without being pretty uncomfortable. So...disappointment city.

It happens. I know. And I can think about the fact that I still locomoted 4.3 miles...that's pretty good considering the past 6 months and yes I am happy about it...if it wasn't for that thorn-in-my-side-not-meeting-my-goal-of-walking-the-half-marathon.

So I am working through it. Me and God that is. Tough questions being asked, tears being shed, learning a new level of being patient and waiting on Him. Thinking about the "short term" makes me want to cry...but thinking about the "long term"... I know He is working this for His good and He will be glorified and I will learn a WHOLE lot in the process.

Sometimes the process has it's stinky moments....

One step at a time...Philippians 3:14

Stronghold

I've recently started reading through Psalm 27 and I am breaking it down verse by verse and spending time thinking about, praying about, and writing about what each verse means. It's been incredibly fruitful and I love what God is teaching me (or reminding me of!). I'm not going to share my thoughts on each verse, but will trying to give you a sampling. I'm using the ESV Bible.

"The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"- Psalm 27:2

From Merriam Webster: "A stronghold is 1) a fortified place, 2) a place of survival or security, and 3) a place dominated by a particular group or marked by a particular characteristic

Where to start....

A fortified place is a place that has been added to, built up to provide extra protection. Everything around me can fall apart (by the way, I'll write more about this with my thoughts on verse 3...) but if I stick near to God, the stronghold, the fortified place, I will not be shaken, or rather, the important stuff won't be shaken (i.e. the fact that I belong to Him) because face it, we're human and stuff does shake us up. Praise God that He doesn't move.

A place of survival or security- for me, the thought of trying to draw one breath without God is, mind-boggling. I know I "did it" at one point- before He, in His grace and mercy showed me my need of Him, but I could not imagine going through every day life, let alone hardships, without Him. It points back to the "fortified" part- He is stable. This world is not. I can mercifully seek Someone who is stable and I know He is there and that my hope lies with Him. Eternally.

A place dominated by a particular group or marked by a particular characteristic- I want to be marked as a woman who loves the Lord (that's the particular characteristic)- that every action, word, and thought is saturated with Him, that people see Him through my actions and words. I fall very short of this mark, but it's a process, and I pray that my desire to honor Him in everything will only increase through the years.

Hand

One of my amazing girls sent me a get well ecard this afternoon, and it literally popped up during a particularly challenging time for me today. In it were these verses for encouragement:

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal" 2Cor 4:16-18

I love when you can see His hand move in your life. I love that He understands that we sometimes need those more tangible reminders of His presence.

::teary-eyed smiling::

Completely Done

Awesome song that we sung at church today. I love the phrase "What you complete is completely done". God doesn't do anything half-heartedly. What overwhelming reassurance.

I am so thankful for our worship leaders who spend so much time and effort to put together song lists that allow us to focus on God and meditate on what He has done for us, giving Him the glory.

Completely Done
Words by Jonathon Baird, Ryan Baird, and Rich Gunderlock

What reason have I to doubt
Why would I dwell in fear
When all I have known is grace
My future in Christ is clear
My sins have been paid in full
There’s no condemnation here
I live in the good of this
My Father has brought me near
I’m leaving my fears behind me now

The old is gone, the new has come
What You complete is completely done
We’re heirs with Christ, the victory won
What You complete is completely done

I don’t know what lies ahead
What if I fail again
You are my confidence
You’ll keep me to the end

I’m leaving my fears behind me now

Musings on Jeremiah

I'm currently in the middle of studying Jeremiah. I read chapter 27 the other day and was particularly blown away, old lesson, different angle...here are a few of my thoughts on it...

Jeremiah 27- Quick summary- Judah is strategizing to overthrow the rule of Babylon, which they have recently come under. God speaks through Jeremiah and tells the people that it is His WILL that they are under the rule of King Nebudchadnezzar and Babylon and they will be for some time. It won't last forever, but they must not fight back or they will be punished.

How amazing that God reveals a piece of His plan to Judah here. How needed it was as well...His plan was completely OPPOSITE of the people's natural instinct: Big Bad Babylon (Triple B) takes over=people fight back to reclaim their freedom, God says "Nope, stop, it's my will that you are under Triple B's thumb for now. Obey and submit". Whoosh- the sound of every person in Judah gaping at the Lord, "You want us to do WHAT!? How in the world does that accomplish anything!?"...Oh yes, God's grace all over this one- the people NEVER would have thought- "Ooh Triple B has conquered us, let us smile sweetly and offer our services to Triple B." God needed to show His plan to keep His people from getting into trouble (ie the promised punishment if they did not submit to Babylon's rule). He knows just what information we need to know, even though sometimes we can't see the reason or purpose for it. His mercy stretches even further when He tells them it will not be forever...he doesn't give a timeframe, just not forever. Think how we are in the same situation. Let's start big:

1) Big picture- Christ's return- we know its coming, but we don't know when. We are told to wait patiently and trust
2) Smaller picture- Our continual santification and eventual reward of heaven. We don't know when we will die, but we know it's coming, what's coming afterward, and are told to press on and trust
3) Smallest picture- the season of life that we are in. We don't know when the next will begin, we are told to press on and trust.

Nice to see that our God is consistent eh? He revealed a bit of his plan to Judah and told them to press on and trust. He reveals a bit of His plan to us and tells us to press on and trust. And, if read on, God is faithful to Judah, so guess what that means to us? Yep, you guessed it, God will be faithful to us. Love it.

Words

So I am reading this really phenomenal book called "The Meaning of Everything- the Story of the Oxford English Dictionary" by Simon Winchester. As most of you know, I really like words and I thought, well, what better to read than a history of the OED (yes, I realize the nerdiness in this statement...oh well). I am enjoying two things about this book 1) it reads more like fiction than non-fiction and 2) Mr. Winchester employs many new words I have never heard of and/or words that I recognize but could not define. He's also pretty masterful with these footnotes that contain the more humorous aspects of history or nuggets of trivia.

My two favorite trivia nuggets so far:

1. If you were to write "what!?" the combination of the '!' and the '?' is called an interrobang.
2. The word "paperclip" was first used in 1875

I'm also finding it pretty funny (probably as only I would) that I am using a Merriam-Webster dictionary to look up the words I don't know...(and yep, I am TOTALLY writing the definitions in the book as I go :) ). That's probably why I couldn't find the definition of "machicolated".

Some of my new favorite words:

1. bellicose- war-mongering, belligerent
2. erudite- scholarly
3. malapropism- humorous misuse of a word

...looking forward to the second half of this book....

Knowledge

I just finished re-reading "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. You should read it. One of my favorite parts is this conversation between little-girl Corrie and her father. She asks him a tough-adult question (they are traveling on a train and he has his work-bag with him). Here's their conversation after Corrie has asked her question and dad hasn't answered yet:

" At last, he lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor. 'Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?' he said. I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning. 'It's too heavy', I said. 'Yes,' he said, 'And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a heavy load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."

And the parallel that I drew:

God is the same way with His children. He doesn't overburden us with all the details of His plans, He gives us the knowledge we need at the exact moment we need it- not before, and not after. Perfect timing. He knows when we are strong enough, prepared for the next step-whatever that might be. And we, as His children, must trust Him to keep His plans, to carry that knowledge for us, until that perfect moment arrives. Wow.