180 degrees

I had a 180 degree moment this week.

Background (potentially background overkill...)

I am still flaring and this past weekend, started having some intense stomach pain, so I headed to my regular doctor on Tuesday. I'm on the low dose of steroids, which can cause ulcers, so I thought maybe that was the problem, even though I have been on oral steroids a TON in the past and never had any problems. She agreed the pain was definitely my stomach (versus connective tissue, because I have had problems with connective tissue inflammation in the area that the pain was in) and expressed concern about the pain combined with the weight loss I have had, so she said I need to get an endoscopy of my stomach done. So I have a consultation with a gastroenterologist next week to get that scheduled. She prescribed an acid reflux med and an appetite stimulant. But, I am SO tired of swallowing medicines, that I've decided to hold off on the appetite stimulant and see if acupuncture can help. Yup, I am back under the needles. I had 30 (!!!) in me on Thursday. The last time I was flaring, the needles helped break the cyclic fevers I get when I flare, which helps SO much in making me feel better ('cause really, you just feel so BLAH when you have a fever). I had needles in my stomach too, and those HURT going in, so that's an acupuncture-y sign that something is going on. And my stomach started growling again when she put them in...so hopefully a good sign of things to come. I see the acupuncturist next week as well, so I am hoping to get the same fever-eradicating results as last time :). Oh and my rheumatologist decided to double my dose of one of my immunosupressive meds. So needless to say, I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually maxed out on doctors, pills, and the "House- esque"-ness of my situation by mid-week.

End background overkill.

But the title of the blog comes into play this past Thursday, as I was sitting in my car in the drive thru pickup line at Walgreen's to get the acid reflux medicine. Originally, the prescription my doctor wrote wasn't covered well by my insurance and I wasn't going to spend that much money on something that may or may not fix the problem. So, this was actually round two at Walgreens for this med. The pharmacist told me the total and it was even more than the first prescription and that it was so expensive because I had reached the limits on my insurance. That made me pause. 1) I have really good insurance, so that just sounded weird and 2) fleeting panic on what would happen if my insurance REALLY was maxed out. And then my brain kicked in and I started asking a series of questions about my prescriptions on file, had them rerun some insurance stuff, and finally requested that they remove the first acid reflux med request from my file and voila! the new med cleared (cost me $5, yay insurance!). As I was driving away, I found myself thinking "wow, that's just great, cluttering up my brain with all sorts of prescription/insurance-y info, wish I didn't know this stuff"...and God just turned my thoughts and my attitude 180 degrees. I became THANKFUL that I knew what questions to ask and what suggestions to make - it probably saved me about an hour on the phone with the insurance company the next day trying to figure out what the problem was.

I am so thankful that God is faithful to continue to do the work He is doing in my life even when I am not open to His teaching. Reminding me that He is Sovereign. Increasing my dependency on Him. Reminding me that He is all I need.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" - Philippians 1:6